Potlucking: The How To

Ever since starting this blog (and for some time before), I've had many people wonder just how we do it.

Do what? I ask.

"Potluck."

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I love that this phenomenon has started to become so commonplace that it's been turned into a verb. So, allow me to share my 'potlucking' knowledge with you all. The following is my Not-so-official Guide to Potlucking.

The first thing I should probably point out is that while this is meant to be a set of helpful guidelines, every potluck group will be different. As you continue to meet you'll find what works best for you, and what doesn't.

1. Find a group of friends that you like.

This might seem obvious, but you never know. A lot of people ask how we all got together. The answer is quite simple: We're friends. We started off hanging out at the park together, or meeting for lunch and at times would plan "get-togethers" at each others homes, sometimes with a meal involved. We realized that not only did we enjoy hanging out, but we really enjoyed the interaction and camaraderie that meal time provided.

It helped that the idea was borrowed from one of the original potlucker's parents who had been meeting with their own potluck group for over thirty years. It made the transition from being"simply friends" to "friends who potluck" much easier.

We've been meeting every Monday for over three years now, so it definitely helps to have a group of people that you will enjoy spending quality time with. You want to be eagerly anticipating your potluck night, not anxiously figuring out ways to avoid it.

2. Ask them.

Something as simple as sharing a weekly meal with a group of friends sounds almost effortless, but taking that first step can be tricky. There can be all sorts of politics involved. Who to ask? Who not to ask? What if certain people *you* like don't get along with each other?

This is where the community aspect comes into play. Communication is the foundation for any successful community and it's no different with a potluck group. You'll be sharing time with these people every week, so you'll want to make sure you can talk with them.

However, you can "trick" folks into potlucking if you're too nervous or overwhelmed bringing it up in the first place. Invite everyone over to your house for a random potluck and then hit them with "Wow, wasn't that fun? We should do this more often..."

Of course, if it wasn't that fun, then you're on your own. Can't help you there.

3. Plan Ahead.

Once you've gotten a willing group of participants together, now it's time to create a set of guidelines to be followed each week. How strict or loose they are depend entirely on your group. We started off with what we thought was a well organized method, but found that it didn't really work for us.

This method included a rotating schedule of who brought what. For instance during one week, Family A would bring a protein, Family B would bring a veg, Family C would bring a grain, Family D would bring dessert and so on...

The next week it would rotate one spot so Family A now brought a veg, Family B brought the grain, Family C brought dessert and Family D brought the protein, etc...

We originally thought that would be the fairest way to set things up so one family didn't feel pressured to always bring the protein (sometimes the most costly and time consuming dish). However, as egalitarian as this method strives to be, it felt stifling for us. What happened, for instance, if I had a lovely selection of greens from my garden that just demanded to be used, but I was slated for the grain dish? Sure I could always come up with a grain dish that used greens, but that's not always fun.

Instead, we set up a Google list where we email each other each week. Somebody will start out asking who is up for hosting (we do our best to rotate who hosts), and then describe what they're bringing. Sometimes somebody will have a dish in mind, or announce a certain craving and it spirals out from there.

Occasionally we'll have "theme nights" that are created serendipitously, where we're all on the same food wave-length. Other times we've been known to have meals consisting solely of appetizers and side dishes, and they are just as enjoyable.

4. Enjoy yourselves.

The best part about potluck is that you're pausing in your week to slow down and enjoy a meal with friends. This rule is especially important to remember if you're the one hosting. Try not to fuss and worry about clean up or if everyone has enough to eat. Ideally, you'll all chip in with the clean up, and I have yet to leave potluck hungry!

5. Learn as you go.

In the three years since we've started potluck I've learned a lot about how group dynamics work. Sometimes you'll all be on the same page. Other times? Not so much. You'll have families or individuals that will drop from the group while other, new families may join the fold.

You'll also start to learn about your own particular group's needs and likes/dislikes and tailor your weekly dinners to those. Perhaps it's better for you all to meet for Sunday brunch, or Wednesday evenings. Maybe you really need a regimented system, or you find that being relaxed about what happens is best. 

Feel free to try new things and be okay with them when they don't work. Over time you'll find a system that is unique to your group, and even then it probably won't stay static. Our own group has changed and evolved throughout the past three years and we look nothing like we did when we started, yet it's still just as enjoyable. 

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If you already have a potluck group going or are hoping to start one, I'd love to hear from you. Please share your experiences with me in the comments below or via email.